Do Boys Take Longer to Potty Train? Gentle Truths and Real Science

A Mom’s Perspective (And a Little Real-Life Honesty)

As a mom of three—two of them boys—I’ve lived through the potty training rollercoaster. My eldest son faced a preschool deadline: he had to be out of diapers by his third birthday... I know firsthand how stressful it can feel when the clock is ticking and every child seems to be on their own timeline. If you’re feeling anxious, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.

Why Do People Think Boys Potty Train Later?

It’s a question that comes up in every mom group: “Are boys just slower to potty train?” You’ll hear stories, advice, and sometimes even pressure from schools or family. But let’s look at what science and real-life experience actually say.

Myth-Busting: Fact vs. Fiction

Why Do Girls Sometimes Potty Train Earlier?

Many girls show a strong interest in independence and love to mirror what they see grown-ups do—including using the potty! It’s common for girls to watch their parents or siblings and want to copy, which can lead to earlier initiation. This isn’t about girls being “ready” sooner on a physiological level, but more about their social curiosity and desire to do things “by myself.”

Boys are just as capable, but may not show the same drive to imitate or seek independence in this area as early. That’s okay! The timeline for true readiness—bladder control, communication skills, and understanding what the potty is for—is virtually the same for both boys and girls.

Do Boys’ Brains, Kidneys, or Bladders Take Longer to Develop?

Here’s what the science says:

• Brain development: Both boys and girls reach the “ready” stage for bladder control between 18–36 months. No meaningful difference.

• Kidney/bladder maturity: The ability to stay dry develops on a wide spectrum. Some research suggests boys may average a couple months later, but there’s huge overlap.

• Hormones: Not a major factor in potty training readiness.

  
  

Bottom line: There’s no biological reason boys can’t potty train as early as girls. It’s all about the individual child.

What the Research Really Says

• Small average age gap: Boys may start 3–6 months later than girls—but many boys train earlier, and many girls train later (NCBI).

• Gentle, child-led approaches work best: Positive reinforcement and patience lead to better outcomes (ParentingScience.com).

  
  

Gentle, Encouraging Tips for Potty Training Boys

• Look for readiness signs: Dry diapers for a couple of hours, interest in the potty, following simple steps

• Start with sitting: It’s less pressure and less mess. Standing can come later

• Make it fun: Let your child pick out a potty or special underwear. Celebrate every effort!

• Model and normalize: Let your son see trusted adults or siblings using the toilet (when appropriate)

• Stay positive about accidents: They’re a normal part of learning. Your calm response helps your child feel safe to keep trying

• No comparisons: Every child’s journey is unique. Trust your instincts and your child’s pace

  
  

Navigating Preschool Potty Training Deadlines

If your school sets a deadline (like my son’s preschool did), it can feel overwhelming. Here’s what helped us:

• Communicate with teachers: Ask about their expectations and any flexibility, what is their protocol if he does not meet this "deadline", will they be understanding and work with your child, do you need to have back up options? In reality, no parent or method can speed up a process that some children may not be developmentally or physiologically ready for. Period.

• Start early with gentle exposure: Give your child time to get comfortable with the potty before the deadline, without any pressure to perform

• Practice at home in a low-pressure way: Short, playful potty sits, stories, and lots of praise

• Remember, you’re your child’s best advocate: If your child isn’t ready, it’s okay to push for grace or adjust your plans

Need more help?

Potty training isn’t one-size-fits-all, and sometimes you need a little extra support. My Jolly Good Potty Training Support package includes:

• The Jolly Good Potty Training Manual: A step-by-step guide packed with real-life troubleshooting, emotional and behavioral insight, and scripts for tricky moments.

• 1:1 Follow-Up Support: A one-hour “ask me anything” troubleshooting call, plus three days of daily email check-ins to get to the root of your child’s potty training struggles.

• Guidance for strong-willed, anxious, or older children, and advanced troubleshooting for those “what now?” moments most guides ignore.

• Flexible support: If you’ve already purchased the manual, you can add follow-up support at a discount within four weeks of purchase.

For Charlotte families and beyond, you can learn more or book support here: Jolly Good Potty Training Support

At some point, they will get there - for better or worse!

Potty training is a milestone, not a race. With love, patience, and evidence-based strategies, your little boy will get there—on his own timeline. If you’d like a personalized plan or just a pep talk from a fellow mom who’s been there, book a free consult with Jolly Good Sleep. You’ve got this, mama!

References

1. Schum, T. R., Kolb, T. M., McAuliffe, T. L., Simms, M. D., Underhill, R. L., Lewis, M., & Pupp, R. (2002). Sequential acquisition of toilet-training skills: A descriptive study of gender and age differences in normal children. Pediatrics, 109(3), e48. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.109.3.e48

2. Taubman, B., Blum, N. J., & Nemeth, N. (2003). Children who hide while defecating before they have been toilet trained. Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 157(12), 1190-1194. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/481042

3. Parenting Science. (n.d.). Potty training tips backed by science. https://parentingscience.com/potty-training-tips/

4. Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Potty training: How to get the job done. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/potty-training/art-20045230

5. National Institutes of Health: National Library of Medicine. (2008). Toilet training in children: Methods, parental expectations, and associated dysfunction. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2529421/